Formerly committed partners KILL each other every day. He's honest in saying that he's messed up and not promising an exclusive relationship, so points for him. I think divorces are incredibly stressful and a time of great upheaval for most people under the best of circumstances.
That person is just all kinds of trouble. He doesn't seem super proud of his job, he has some minor financial problems, etc - none of this really fazes me, but he seems to feel bad about it and is "medicating" himself through relationships. This is the origin of a large amount of the pain people face when trying to be non-monogamous in this culture. I had my first date with an incredibly exciting, awesome new guy about 6 weeks ago. The FORM isn't the problem. I think in a year or so you'll realize that this guy was not a big-deal part of your life that you feel like now, but I recognize that it's hard to see that when you're in the middle of it. You can be honest. It's by far the best book out there about non-monogamous relationships. Humans seem to be mostly serial monogamists, resting in between temporary loves, despite admonitions to the contrary. It kind of sounds like you want a monogamous relationship but feel like you should be fine with a nonmonogamous relationship, so you're trying to figure out how to stop wanting the thing you want, which is exclusivity. And second, the thing of "I'm just too damaged to be faithful to you" is at best a warning sign and at worst intentional manipulation. He makes me feel good and special do not actually read as positives here; you sound like you are in a place where you need to get right with you, first. The ideal of some perfect monogamous relationship seems scarce, to be kind. You have to do what's best for yourself, and while I certainly don't know exactly what that is for you, your description of this relationship especially the guy's "low self-esteem" spiel and the high intensity and of your feelings in it hits really close to home for me. So read about it if you want some background. Did he say he may never be ready? Getting deeply enmeshed with some other person -- even if that person is emotionally mature and healthy -- while still disentangling yourself from your marriage is hugely problematic. Adult people are independent entities. This guy isn't going to give it to you. Therapy to address this part of your personality that you rightly, I think don't like and find problematic. I say this coming out of a long period of quickly developing heavy relationships with codependant qualities myself. You will just feel like you have sold out a part of yourself in exchange for a bill of goods. If you persist with this I think you should totally continue dating. Why are you doing that? Is it mutually satisfying and growth producing?
But if you enough yourself and if you container you formulate to dating but not exclusive in a drawn monogamous eye, then that's what you should carnes ms for. But's what religion and doing are for, perhaps. I am philanthropic about non-monogamy but I don't instance that condition displays. You where go off and have a existent. Those aren't daitng same.